Wait, gay sex isn't a salvation issue?!
I recently posted a video sharing why I think God's wisdom for our sexualities is worth following (Proverbs 4:6-7, Matthew 7:24-25). I made a passing comment at the start of the video that I don't believe gay sex is a salvation issue. Some were surprised, so I wanted to explain.
Should I call myself gay?
No matter what words I use to refer to my sexuality, I'll be misunderstood by someone. Every possible term/phrase carries baggage with one group or another.
Watch my Lifetime Commitments to NFOB & Vocational Singleness
Watch my lifetime commitments to NFOB and vocational singleness, check out some early reflections, and read articles along my journey to lifetime commitments.
Does God change gay people into straight people?
Well, it depends on what you mean by "healing."
For many gay/SSA people who directly or indirectly interacted with the pray-the-gay-away movement of the late 1900s, pastors and therapists promised that God would completely eliminate their same-sex attractions and replace them with robust general opposite-sex attractions if gay/SSA people prayed hard enough or went to enough counseling.
How do I handle same-sex crushes?
First, I try not to shame myself. In my experience, shaming myself for developing romantic feelings (and avoiding my crush out of shame) only leads to my attractions intensifying. The solution is healthy connection, not starvation and shame.
How has my SSA been good (even if not God’s intention)?
As I understand it, God didn't intend for me to be romantically/sexually attracted to men. Yet over the past 20 years, the journey of bringing my sexuality before God and asking Him how He wanted to use my brokenness has been the greatest blessing of my life. Not because of my brokenness, but in spite of my brokenness.
“You can call me in an emergency” isn’t family
There’s a big difference between “call me in an emergency” family and everyday family. Let’s face it, any day without committed lived-in family is an emergency. While “emergency” family have good intentions, they’re only offering reactive and temporary support that ceases after the emergency.
Where are the dead, in Christ, right now?
I had the privilege of offering one of the eulogies at my grandmother's funeral. I shared many of the fond memories from an earlier tribute. But over the past few days, I've found myself wondering where, exactly, Gaga is now. What's she thinking? Feeling? Who is she with? I know these same questions have burdened others journeying through grief. So I closed the eulogy with the comforting answers to those questions found in the Scriptures:
Ephesians 4:1-16 Devotional (All the Gifts)
A daily devotional on Ephesians 4:1-16 written for The Living Church
Matthew 10:16-22 Devotional (Will You Be a Martyr?)
A daily devotional on Matthew 10:16-22 written for The Living Church
Luke 10:1-12, 17-20 Devotional (You’re Needy)
A daily devotional on Luke 10:1-12, 17-20 written for The Living Church
My Love Letter to NFOB
In anticipation of my lifetime commitments to vocational singleness and to the Nashville Family of Brothers, I wrote this letter…
Would I be celibate even if I were straight?
Some people assume that my same-sex attractions are the sole reason that I am committing to vocational singleness. Not so! For me, celibacy isn’t a consolation prize or a second-class vocation. I'm confident God would have called me to vocational singleness even if I were straight.
Who am I actually committing to if no one else has made lifetime commitments to NFOB?!
The short answer: whomever God gives me to love.
For 24 hrs, I thought I might leave my family
For 24 hrs, I thought I might leave my family. God knew this summer would include some setbacks, so He made sure I was on sabbatical to provide plenty of bandwidth. I'm grateful. One of those tough moments was 24 hours when I seriously doubted re-committing to the Nashville Family of Brothers.
What my celibacy tattoo means...
When I make lifetime commitments to vocational singleness and to NFOB next month, I want some kind of physical symbol to remind me of my commitments and help me share my story with others. So I decided to get a tattoo.
This C.S. Lewis quote gave me hope again
When I shared about my spiritual dryness with one of the mentors at L'Abri, he encouraged me to read a section of "The Screwtape Letters". It'd been 2010 since I read the book: "God relies on the troughs even more than on the peaks...God will set [believers] off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation…
Vocational singles need bachelor parties, too
If bachelor parties (at their best) are celebrations of the past and preparation for a lifetime commitment in the near future, then vocational singles deserve a bachelor party as much as any groom-to-be. So in July, some of the people who've been instrumental in my journey thus far helped me celebrate and prepare, complete with...
Workaholism disconnects me from myself, God, & others
I went into my sabbatical hoping to detox from workaholism, and in the process, God taught me even more than I expected about what over-working has cost me over the years. In the past I used work to entertain myself, distract myself, and numb myself. From what? Fear.
I’m on sabbatical…see you in August!
Over the past few years, I've gotten in the habit of choosing to work 70 hours a week and neglecting my family of brothers and people from my church who I've committed to.