What if pansexuality is a gift to the Church?

I recently posted about how nearly 40% of Gen Z now identifies as LGBTQ+. But here’s a twist I can’t stop thinking about:

What if Gen Z’s weird aversion to labels (and the rise of pansexuality) are actually paving the way for more honest, stable, holy marriages than the ex-gay movement ever could?

That’s what I explored with Stephen G. Adubato on his podcast @cracksinpomo and in a recent article.

We’re in a strange cultural moment. On one side, there’s Reintegrative Therapy—a new name for the old false promise of sexual orientation change. On the other, Gen Z is increasingly saying, “I care more about the person than the plumbing.” They’re open to romantic commitment without needing sexual fireworks. And they’re choosing that with clarity and freedom.

As someone who survived the trauma of ex-gay therapy, I know the damage it can do. But I also know the grace of falling in love with a woman not because my orientation changed, but because I sought God’s wisdom honestly.

Though I discerned a call to vocational singleness, I’ve seen mixed-orientation marriages thrive when they start with truth, not denial. And Gen Z might be uniquely ready for that. They’re suspicious of shame, weary of performance, and longing for connection rooted in shared values.

What if the Church caught up?
What if we stopped equating healing with becoming straight? What if prepared the Church to support honest, Spirit-led mixed-orientation marriages that people enter with peace, not pressure.

If you’re a pastor, a parent, or a queer Christian discerning marriage, maybe you don’t need to become straight. Maybe you need a church willing to walk with you patiently.

Ironically, the very trends that scare some Christians (sexual fluidity, de-centered attraction, pansexual identity) might be clearing space for something more beautiful than we imagined.

Listen to the full podcast at https://open.spotify.com/episode/22IXVwduEd9PQGzyEEOUrK?si=2441b7993c644f76.