I’ve shared before that I’m in sexual addiction recovery (and that it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m gay or celibate). I’m grateful the Lord has helped me make real progress toward sobriety. But over the years, there have been slip-ups. Here’s what helps me rebound after a slip-up.

It’s a question I hear often from LGBT+ people and allies who feel frustrated by what the Bible seems to say about sexuality. That God sounds like a buzzkill. Or worse, controlling.

Earlier this spring, the other guys in NFOB and I started discerning an invitation from the Lord to pivot to a different kind of intentional Christian community. NFOB was limited to people living in the same house, only for men called to lifetime celibacy, and pushed guys toward lifetime commitments.

I get this push-back (and similar) often. They argue that it would be cruel for God to call every Christian to abstinence outside of Christian marriage, regardless of how lonely they are or how unavailable faithful suitors are or what their sexual orientation is.

If you’re a gay person trying to make sense of spirituality and sexuality, I hope this helps. When I hang out with friends who don’t believe in God, or who have been deeply hurt by the Church, our conversations eventually land on the big question: why do I even believe God exists?

If you’ve been told Jesus should be enough for single Christians, read this. Ryan Holland recently asked me about this on the Holy Heartbreak Podcast where we talked about the call to singleness and the ache of loneliness. Here’s what I shared:

The real problem with purity culture wasn’t its commitment to abstinence. It was its promise of marriage.

I recently went on the In the Church Library Podcast with Kelsey Kramer McGinnis and Marissa Franks Burt to explore how Focus on the Family impacted my masculinity and same-sex attraction.

I’ll give you a hint: nothing… Scripture doesn’t talk about high school crushes or casual situationships. It doesn’t speak to whether it was wise for 1st century Christian teens to go for a swim in the Jordan River together, kiss goodbye at the end of the hangout, and giggle to their respective families afterward.

Pastors and mentors offer 1 Cor 6:18 as the default, one-size-fits-all response to all sexual temptation: flee.

But when it comes to my sexual stewardship, I’ve been taught and practiced something different.

I recently taught at a Christian university about vocational singleness and Christ’s calling in Matthew 19 for every Christian young adult to consider lifetime abstinence for the sake of the kingdom.

I recently went on the @felixoutstheworld Podcast with Felix Chen to talk about loneliness, spiritual kinship, and what churches owe their single members. I shared
something that gave us both pause.

I recently taught at a Christian university about vocational singleness and Christ’s calling in Matthew 19 for every Christian young adult to consider lifetime abstinence for the sake of the kingdom.

I recently joined Robby Ortiz on the Enter the Grayzone Podcast to talk about singleness, the Church, and what we miss out on when we don’t support single Christians well.

I recently preached the chapel message on back-to-back days at Asbury Theological Seminary. Check out this recording and transcript from the second day exploring the power of spiritual friendship to create belonging and enrich both single and married lives.

I recently preached the chapel message on back-to-back days at Asbury Theological Seminary. Check out this recording and transcript from the first day discovering how biblical discernment frees us to embrace love—whether in marriage or singleness—with gratitude and joy.

I recently went on the Celibacy is SEXY! Show with Taja Hereford to explore the challenges of involuntary singleness and how single Christians can embrace their circumstances to enjoy belonging and purpose.

Last month I went on a walk-and-talk with a guy who'd been following me on Instagram for a while. He messaged me and said he'd almost given up hope, but he thought he'd give it a chance and reach out to me. As we crisscrossed the neighborhood, he said he started following me because I posted honestly about my "struggles with sexual purity," as he called it. He was secretly battling addiction and found it refreshing to hear someone speak openly about sexual addiction, gay desire, rooting out sin, and chasing after Jesus...

A few months ago someone online accused me of sex-shaming and asked, “What’s so wrong with watching pornography, anyway?” I knew the Sunday school answer, but this person was marginally Christian and genuinely seeking a convincing rationale.

Ever woken up with a moral hangover? Here's how I chased after earnest confession while on a cold morning run. In my latest article in Anglican Compass, I recount a time years ago when I recited the common confession after a moral failure and wrestled with whether I meant the memorized words: "I woke up with a moral hangover..."