Resist gay temptation by running *toward* gay friendship?

Pastors and mentors offer 1 Cor 6:18 as the default, one-size-fits-all response to all sexual temptation: flee.

But when it comes to my sexual stewardship, I’ve been taught and practiced something different.

I recently went on the Naken Gospel Podcast with Shane O’neill of @provenmenministries to talk about addiction, masculinity, and sexuality.

In the past, when I’ve “run away” from guys I’m attracted to (avoiding friendship and connection) it hasn’t eliminated temptation. It just amplified it.

That distance turns attraction into fantasy. I start putting him on a pedestal. I feel more isolated, and the temptation only gets stronger.

Over a decade ago, my therapist told me to try the opposite instead: Don’t run. Lean in. Pursue healthy, non-sexual friendship. Enjoy emotional connection, spiritual intimacy, and appropriate physical affection.

Turns out, my therapist was right.

When I’ve gotten to know a guy as a real human, I stop idealizing him. I stop objectifying him. I just want to be his friend.

I’ve found that’s often the way temptation starts to lose its power.

So maybe the best way for gay Christians to honor historic sexual ethics is to lean into healthy friendship, not run in fear and idolize another.

Listen to the full episode at https://open.spotify.com/episode/5okkVGWRVKia2vbSUt1k2G?si=x6nRXvHcR4yLlRVr2Aoqdg.