A parent recently asked this about their former babysitter, someone they love and who has since medically transitioned. They wanted to welcome this person into their home during a visit, but didn’t know how to explain what had changed to their 5- and 7-year-old.

Miraculous healing from gender incongruence (like same-sex attraction or chronic pain) isn’t promised to faithful Christians.

That might be a hard word. But it’s also a hopeful one.

As the Supreme Court hears oral arguments on youth gender medicine, Christians must prepare to speak with love while holding fast to biblical truth.

Christian leaders need to first prioritize relationship with trans people, build trust, address any mental health challenges unrelated to gender incongruence, and patiently wait for the Holy Spirit to move. But eventually, conversation may get to theological questions. Even more often, cisgender straight Christians press me to answer the question, “Is transition permissible for Christians navigating gender incongruence?” How do I answer that question and others?

The ex-gay movement seemingly died in the 2010s. Exodus International (the umbrella organization of sexual orientation change effort "SOCE" ministries) closed in 2013, admitting that "99.9% of [participants] have not experienced a change in their orientation." By the end of the 2010s, it seemed that evangelical Christians had widely accepted that people don't choose who they're attracted to, SOCEs were harmfully ineffective, and a different solution was needed. But over the past few years, the ex-gay movement appears to be making a comeback.

Eventually, every conversation about gender ethics and God’s wisdom for trans people seems to get to the point where someone claims, “Well, it’s transition or suicide.” And often, the conversation stops. This matters, because we know 41% of trans people attempt suicide, as compared to 1.6% of the general population. Stats like that demand attention. They can’t be ignored. But should is “transition or suicide” mantra true? Has transition been scientifically proven to reduce suicide risk? Long story short: No. Available research is inconclusive about whether hormonal or surgical transition effectively reduce suicide risk.

Some Christians get mad at me when I respect people’s pronoun and name preferences. Here’s the deal, just because I honor someone’s request doesn’t mean I’m theologically affirming their decisions. It just means that I don’t want terminology to be a barrier to getting to know a trans person.

How can Christians compassionately care for trans Christians? First, adopt a general posture of empathy and compassion. God made trans people in His image, and we must treat trans people with the dignity and respect every Imago Dei deserves…

Over the past year, Equip has partnered with Jesse White, a seminary-trained Christian leader who has been faithfully stewarding his own gender incongruence. Together, we’ve developed a brand-new resource to help pastors and Christians navigate this conversation in their communities: Equip's new Gender Incongruence Course is a 4-session resource that (1) helps Christian leaders and parents think empathetically and theologically about gender incongruence and (2) equips Christian leaders and parents to offer God’s love and wisdom to trans* people.