"Will I go to Hell if I marry a man?"
A gay Christian me that last week. Here's my response.
If your church has used hell to scare you into celibacy, I’m sorry. That’s not the gospel.
A guy recently DMed me on instagram wondering whether he would go to hell if he married a man (and died without specifically repenting of any gay s*x he engaged in).
I get this question pretty often and I always respond. Not because I think it’s the most important question, but because it gets at something fundamental that the Church is missing.
If you’re gay and struggling to walk out celibacy, maybe you’re like this guy:
You aren’t convinced of a revisionist sexual ethic, but you’re exhausted. You’ve tried for so long to make celibacy livable with almost no help from your local church and often suspicion from other Christians.
You’re holding on, but you’re worried that one day, maybe next year or maybe next month, you might give up. And you’re terrified that God will send you to hell because of it.
Maybe people at your church have even tried to scare you into being celibacy by playing the hell card?
Here’s what I’d say:
I’m so sorry the Church has failed you. Don’t give up, even if it feels too difficult and too unfair.
Not because it’s going to send you to hell, but because, in the longterm, I think giving in will lead to even less connection and satisfaction and joy in your life.
It’s not fair that the Church has failed so deeply to support you. It’s not supposed to be this hard.
But if you choose to ignore God’s wisdom on top of that, and add to your burdens by sinning, I think it’ll be even harder down the road.
At least that’s what I’ve seen in my life when I’ve gone down that path.
It’s not your fault that it’s this difficult, and it’s not fair. But I think ignoring God’s wisdom will make it even worse.
So keep going. Take the next right step. And if you’re not sure what that is, feel free to reach out to me.
I’ve been in that stuck place, and it was a journey to discover thriving in my celibacy.
Comment/DM “thrive” for my testimony of making my celibacy work for me
Watch the video at https://www.instagram.com/p/DQJ7UaQkSjb
