Why wouldn't God bless gay marriage?

A friend who no longer identifies as a Christian recently asked me, “Why would God not bless my gay marriage? What’s so wrong with gay sex?”

If you’re a gay person trying to make sense of spirituality and sexuality, I have a heady theological answer.

But to be honest, my first answer was: I don’t know.

I don’t fully know why God set up the world such that gay marriage and gay sex aren’t His best for me. At some level, if He is who He says He is, then He knows what’s best for me better than I do. And I choose to trust Him.

The “heady” theological answer goes something like this:

Sex was never just about pleasure. For most of human history, it was inseparable from childbearing and raising children, with lifelong monogamy giving those children ideal stability.

But Christian marriage is even more profound. It points us back to the covenant between Christ and the Church. The sexual difference in Christian marriage teaches us something about the differentness, faithfulness, and intimacy of Jesus toward us.

So for Christians, gay sex outside of marriage isn’t any worse than straight sex outside of marriage. The issue isn’t gay vs. straight. The issue is that Christian marriage is unique because of what it images about the gospel.

Some days, that truth holds me steady.

Other days, I still wrestle with God.

I pray honestly, “God, I know the Sunday school answer, but it doesn’t feel satisfying right now. I hope You have a better explanation for me in heaven. For today, I’ll trust You anyway. Because it’s been worth it so far, so it’ll probably be worth it today.”

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