Resist gay temptation by running *toward* gay friendship?
Pastors and mentors offer 1 Cor 6:18 as the default, one-size-fits-all response to all sexual temptation: flee.
But when it comes to my sexual stewardship, I’ve been taught and practiced something different.
“How do I talk to my young kids about a friend who’s transitioned?”
A parent recently asked this about their former babysitter, someone they love and who has since medically transitioned. They wanted to welcome this person into their home during a visit, but didn’t know how to explain what had changed to their 5- and 7-year-old.
God doesn’t promise to take away trans feelings
Miraculous healing from gender incongruence (like same-sex attraction or chronic pain) isn’t promised to faithful Christians.
That might be a hard word. But it’s also a hopeful one.
Mother’s Day passed. Let’s talk about the moms we forget.
I recently went on the @felixoutstheworld Podcast with Felix Chen to talk about loneliness, spiritual kinship, and what churches owe their single members. I shared
something that gave us both pause.
What if pansexuality is a gift to the Church?
I recently posted about how nearly 40% of Gen Z now identifies as LGBTQ+. But here’s a twist I can’t stop thinking about: What if Gen Z’s weird aversion to labels (and the rise of pansexuality) are actually paving the way for more honest, stable, holy marriages than the ex-gay movement ever could?
Does homophobia shove some gay men toward fascism?
Stephen Adubato and I have been cross-blogging on our respective Substacks/platforms. I was honored to write a piece for his spaces exploring the seemingly parallel yet contradictory trends of a new ex-gay movement (under the name of reintegrative therapy) and increased pansexual identification among GenZers. Now it’s Stephen’s turn. And he has not disappointed.
From Pray-the-Gay-Away to Pansexual Pragmatism
Over the past decade the number of people who identify as LGBT+ has doubled, particularly among those who identify as pansexual and are opening to choosing a life partner based on something other than greatest physical attraction. Yet over the same time span, the son of conversion therapy creator Joseph Nicolosi Sr. has created and popularized a new conversion therapy call "reintegrative therapy" for gay people trying to get straight married. What do we do with these seemingly parallel but also contradictory trends?
“A Better Trans Conversation” in Christianity Today
As the Supreme Court hears oral arguments on youth gender medicine, Christians must prepare to speak with love while holding fast to biblical truth.
A brief explainer of my views on biblical gender ethics
Christian leaders need to first prioritize relationship with trans people, build trust, address any mental health challenges unrelated to gender incongruence, and patiently wait for the Holy Spirit to move. But eventually, conversation may get to theological questions. Even more often, cisgender straight Christians press me to answer the question, “Is transition permissible for Christians navigating gender incongruence?” How do I answer that question and others?
Beware of the New Ex-Gay
The ex-gay movement seemingly died in the 2010s. Exodus International (the umbrella organization of sexual orientation change effort "SOCE" ministries) closed in 2013, admitting that "99.9% of [participants] have not experienced a change in their orientation." By the end of the 2010s, it seemed that evangelical Christians had widely accepted that people don't choose who they're attracted to, SOCEs were harmfully ineffective, and a different solution was needed. But over the past few years, the ex-gay movement appears to be making a comeback.
“An Orthodox Challenge to Systemic Homophobia” in The Living Church
Have you sensed a tension between racial justice and biblical justice for gay people? In my latest article in The Living Church, I explore how Christians can use the concepts of systemic racism and biblical racial justice to think about biblical justice for sexual minorities.
What if a same-sex couple with kids converts?
Pastors and Christian leaders often ask me what seems like a bit of a sensationalist “what if” question: They ask, “What if a same-sex married couple with kids starts coming to your church, all of them become Christians, and the couple both become convinced of historic sexual ethics? What do they do next?”
Is internalized homophobia holding you back?
People on the left who disagree with gay Christians like me (who hold a historic sexual ethic) often accuse us of internalized homophobia. While they intend to discredit our beliefs with this accusation—suggesting we're only committed to God's wisdom because of deep-seated shame, they're right (in part). I've definitely been haunted by internalized homophobia...
What does it mean to be pansexual?
Do any of your friends identify as pansexual? Over the past year, I've increasingly noticed teens, celebrities, and some Christians identifying as pan or pansexual. I've read the internet definitions, and as someone who teaches about sexuality for a living I'm supposed to know what it means to be pan, with precision. But I'm gonna be honest. I feel a little lost.
“Unpacking the Closet: How Inside Out 2 Resurfaced my Trauma” in Christ & Pop
I have a confession. I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor, but until two days before seeing Inside Out 2, I still hadn’t even seen the first Inside Out. I know. Malpractice. Despite the hype, Inside Out met and exceeded my expectations...
Yes, Rosaria, Christians do have LGBT+ neighbors...
In a recent article on Clear Truth Media, Rosaria Butterfield argues that none of us have LGBT+/queer neighbors because LGBT+ people do not exist. She goes on to explain that God did not intend for anyone to be queer (no one is ontologically a sexual or gender minority); therefore a Christian who concedes to their neighbor being an LGBT+ person is complicit in a lie that will lead them further away from Jesus. So, what did Rosaria Butterfield get right (and wrong) in her recent article about sexual orientation and ontology?
The closet created my sex addiction.
I recently shared about my ongoing sexual addiction recovery. And I’ve posted in the past about the fact that same-sex attraction does not inherently lead to sexual addiction. But it’s true that gay people struggle with sexual addiction at higher rates than some other populations. Why? The closet.
Coming Out as Celibate (to my Gay Hairstylist)
Nervous about sharing your beliefs on sex ethics outside of church?! I was, and then a TikTok notification made it unavoidable. This is how I faced my fears. 😬
“A year ago when I downloaded Tiktok, I enabled a feature that allows you to see who's viewed your Tiktok profile (and vice versa)…”
Where have I experienced “freedom” in my sexuality?
I recently went on the Head to Heart Podcast with Jenny Marcum, and she opened with a question she asks many of her guests: What has Jesus freed you from? If I’m honest, hearing the question brought back painful memories. As a gay Christian committed to historic sex ethics, I’ve often been asked why God hasn’t yet freed me from my same-sex attractions.
Don’t worry..God has a beautiful plan for your life…
You may have seen this demotivational poster of St. Sebastian in the background of one of my recent videos. I read about something similar in Eve Tushnet’s book “Tenderness” and I couldn’t resist designing and printing a version for myself. The sarcasm and double meaning are deeply satisfying.