Resist gay temptation by running *toward* gay friendship?
Pastors and mentors offer 1 Cor 6:18 as the default, one-size-fits-all response to all sexual temptation: flee.
But when it comes to my sexual stewardship, I’ve been taught and practiced something different.
“How do I talk to my young kids about a friend who’s transitioned?”
A parent recently asked this about their former babysitter, someone they love and who has since medically transitioned. They wanted to welcome this person into their home during a visit, but didn’t know how to explain what had changed to their 5- and 7-year-old.
God doesn’t promise to take away trans feelings
Miraculous healing from gender incongruence (like same-sex attraction or chronic pain) isn’t promised to faithful Christians.
That might be a hard word. But it’s also a hopeful one.
If celibacy impact was guaranteed, what would you do?
I recently taught at a Christian university about vocational singleness and Christ’s calling in Matthew 19 for every Christian young adult to consider lifetime abstinence for the sake of the kingdom.
Mother’s Day passed. Let’s talk about the moms we forget.
I recently went on the @felixoutstheworld Podcast with Felix Chen to talk about loneliness, spiritual kinship, and what churches owe their single members. I shared
something that gave us both pause.
What if pansexuality is a gift to the Church?
I recently posted about how nearly 40% of Gen Z now identifies as LGBTQ+. But here’s a twist I can’t stop thinking about: What if Gen Z’s weird aversion to labels (and the rise of pansexuality) are actually paving the way for more honest, stable, holy marriages than the ex-gay movement ever could?
What if God sent you a Hogwarts letter calling you to singleness?
I recently taught at a Christian university about vocational singleness and Christ’s calling in Matthew 19 for every Christian young adult to consider lifetime abstinence for the sake of the kingdom.
Do singles have the least to offer their churches?
I recently joined Robby Ortiz on the Enter the Grayzone Podcast to talk about singleness, the Church, and what we miss out on when we don’t support single Christians well.
Does homophobia shove some gay men toward fascism?
Stephen Adubato and I have been cross-blogging on our respective Substacks/platforms. I was honored to write a piece for his spaces exploring the seemingly parallel yet contradictory trends of a new ex-gay movement (under the name of reintegrative therapy) and increased pansexual identification among GenZers. Now it’s Stephen’s turn. And he has not disappointed.
"Life Together: Building a Community Through Friendship" at Asbury Theological Seminary
I recently preached the chapel message on back-to-back days at Asbury Theological Seminary. Check out this recording and transcript from the second day exploring the power of spiritual friendship to create belonging and enrich both single and married lives.
“Discerning Love in a Lonely World” at Asbury Theological Seminary
I recently preached the chapel message on back-to-back days at Asbury Theological Seminary. Check out this recording and transcript from the first day discovering how biblical discernment frees us to embrace love—whether in marriage or singleness—with gratitude and joy.
From Pray-the-Gay-Away to Pansexual Pragmatism
Over the past decade the number of people who identify as LGBT+ has doubled, particularly among those who identify as pansexual and are opening to choosing a life partner based on something other than greatest physical attraction. Yet over the same time span, the son of conversion therapy creator Joseph Nicolosi Sr. has created and popularized a new conversion therapy call "reintegrative therapy" for gay people trying to get straight married. What do we do with these seemingly parallel but also contradictory trends?
“A Better Trans Conversation” in Christianity Today
As the Supreme Court hears oral arguments on youth gender medicine, Christians must prepare to speak with love while holding fast to biblical truth.
A brief explainer of my views on biblical gender ethics
Christian leaders need to first prioritize relationship with trans people, build trust, address any mental health challenges unrelated to gender incongruence, and patiently wait for the Holy Spirit to move. But eventually, conversation may get to theological questions. Even more often, cisgender straight Christians press me to answer the question, “Is transition permissible for Christians navigating gender incongruence?” How do I answer that question and others?
Beware of the New Ex-Gay
The ex-gay movement seemingly died in the 2010s. Exodus International (the umbrella organization of sexual orientation change effort "SOCE" ministries) closed in 2013, admitting that "99.9% of [participants] have not experienced a change in their orientation." By the end of the 2010s, it seemed that evangelical Christians had widely accepted that people don't choose who they're attracted to, SOCEs were harmfully ineffective, and a different solution was needed. But over the past few years, the ex-gay movement appears to be making a comeback.
“An Orthodox Challenge to Systemic Homophobia” in The Living Church
Have you sensed a tension between racial justice and biblical justice for gay people? In my latest article in The Living Church, I explore how Christians can use the concepts of systemic racism and biblical racial justice to think about biblical justice for sexual minorities.
I don’t have the secrets to lifetime celibacy
Last month I went on a walk-and-talk with a guy who'd been following me on Instagram for a while. He messaged me and said he'd almost given up hope, but he thought he'd give it a chance and reach out to me. As we crisscrossed the neighborhood, he said he started following me because I posted honestly about my "struggles with sexual purity," as he called it. He was secretly battling addiction and found it refreshing to hear someone speak openly about sexual addiction, gay desire, rooting out sin, and chasing after Jesus...
What’s wrong with porn, anyway?
A few months ago someone online accused me of sex-shaming and asked, “What’s so wrong with watching pornography, anyway?” I knew the Sunday school answer, but this person was marginally Christian and genuinely seeking a convincing rationale.
“Chasing After Earnest Confession” in Anglican Compass
Ever woken up with a moral hangover? Here's how I chased after earnest confession while on a cold morning run. In my latest article in Anglican Compass, I recount a time years ago when I recited the common confession after a moral failure and wrestled with whether I meant the memorized words: "I woke up with a moral hangover..."
What if a same-sex couple with kids converts?
Pastors and Christian leaders often ask me what seems like a bit of a sensationalist “what if” question: They ask, “What if a same-sex married couple with kids starts coming to your church, all of them become Christians, and the couple both become convinced of historic sexual ethics? What do they do next?”