People on the left who disagree with gay Christians like me (who hold a historic sexual ethic) often accuse us of internalized homophobia. While they intend to discredit our beliefs with this accusation—suggesting we're only committed to God's wisdom because of deep-seated shame, they're right (in part). I've definitely been haunted by internalized homophobia...

Do any of your friends identify as pansexual? Over the past year, I've increasingly noticed teens, celebrities, and some Christians identifying as pan or pansexual. I've read the internet definitions, and as someone who teaches about sexuality for a living I'm supposed to know what it means to be pan, with precision. But I'm gonna be honest. I feel a little lost.

I have a confession. I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor, but until two days before seeing Inside Out 2, I still hadn’t even seen the first Inside Out. I know. Malpractice. Despite the hype, Inside Out met and exceeded my expectations...

In a recent article on Clear Truth Media, Rosaria Butterfield argues that none of us have LGBT+/queer neighbors because LGBT+ people do not exist. She goes on to explain that God did not intend for anyone to be queer (no one is ontologically a sexual or gender minority); therefore a Christian who concedes to their neighbor being an LGBT+ person is complicit in a lie that will lead them further away from Jesus. So, what did Rosaria Butterfield get right (and wrong) in her recent article about sexual orientation and ontology?

I recently shared about my ongoing sexual addiction recovery. And I’ve posted in the past about the fact that same-sex attraction does not inherently lead to sexual addiction. But it’s true that gay people struggle with sexual addiction at higher rates than some other populations. Why? The closet.

Nervous about sharing your beliefs on sex ethics outside of church?! I was, and then a TikTok notification made it unavoidable. This is how I faced my fears. 😬

“A year ago when I downloaded Tiktok, I enabled a feature that allows you to see who's viewed your Tiktok profile (and vice versa)…”

In a recent sermon at Calvary the Hill Church in Seattle I shared about the difference between temporary and vocational singleness, and why we should consider vocational singleness instead of living in limbo. Temporary singleness is the default state everyone is born into, whereas vocational singleness is a lifetime vocation of singleness for the sake of doing kingdom work with undivided attention.

I recently went on the Head to Heart Podcast with Jenny Marcum, and she opened with a question she asks many of her guests: What has Jesus freed you from? If I’m honest, hearing the question brought back painful memories. As a gay Christian committed to historic sex ethics, I’ve often been asked why God hasn’t yet freed me from my same-sex attractions.

In college and post-grad when Christian leaders shared testimonies about what they used to struggle with and celebrated God's provision, it was often implied (if not directly stated) that they no longer struggled. I remember internally asking, "At all? All of the temptation is gone? You never slip up ever? Even a little?" I never believed it. Do you? Sometimes I worry that I unintentionally send the same signals.

You may have seen this demotivational poster of St. Sebastian in the background of one of my recent videos. I read about something similar in Eve Tushnet’s book “Tenderness” and I couldn’t resist designing and printing a version for myself. The sarcasm and double meaning are deeply satisfying.

I recently posted a video sharing why I think God's wisdom for our sexualities is worth following (Proverbs 4:6-7, Matthew 7:24-25). I made a passing comment at the start of the video that I don't believe gay sex is a salvation issue. Some were surprised, so I wanted to explain.

You guys know that I don’t think our beliefs or behavior around sexual ethics is a salvation issue. There are people I disagree with about gay marriage, gay romance, and gay sex who will be in heaven. I recently shared about that at a church. While the head pastor and I were later debriefing the training, he asked me an honest question: if it’s not a salvation issue, why not just be with a man? Why not have your cake and eat it too?

A blurb recently appeared on the Yale University Press website for a new book by Dr. Richard Hays and his son (out Sept 2024) in which it seems he'll reveal his change to a revisionist sexual ethic. Like me, many Christians over the past few decades have read Hays's 1996 "Moral Vision of the New Testament" and referred back to his earlier work to justify our commitment to historic sexual ethics. When theological heavyweights like Hays change their minds, it's disorienting for many. For me, it led to a now all-too-familiar cycle of fear, disappointment, betrayal, and hop

Some Christians are theologically convinced that gay romance/sex are sins, but deep down they still feel like people need romance to be happy. Deep down, it doesn’t feel fair that celibacy often seems like the only option God offers to gay people. Some earnestly wonder whether God is asking gay people to sacrifice more than other Christians and whether that’s good.

When I play back the tape on a lot of conversations from the past decade that ended in others feeling unheard, disrespected, and misunderstood, many of them would have gone better if I had just chosen to turn the cheek. But turning the cheek is hard for me. Maybe it's difficult for you, too. To be clear, when Jesus talks about turning the cheek, he's talking about responding to insult. He's referring to times when someone offends you or falsely accuses you. But I'm probably not a victim as often as I think I am.

Why would an lgbt+ person every want to attend my church? particularly if they're not a Christian and disagree with our sexual ethics? Honestly, that's a pretty universal question: Why would anyone want to be a part of a church that calls him or her to inconvenient stewardship of any kind?

How do you share the gospel with an LGBT+ person? In the same way you share the gospel with anyone else! LGBT+ people don’t need a different type of gospel or a different type of Jesus. Sometimes people respond, "Well, I guess I honestly don't know how to share the gospel with anyone unless the Holy Spirit has kind of teed me up for an easy home-run." There's no best way to share the gospel, but here's what I've noticed…

Checkout this chapel offered at Asbury Theological Seminary exploring God's true, good, and beautiful for gay people. Many Christians are theologically convinced of historic sexual ethics, but what we believe to be true doesn’t seem to be leading to good and beautiful in the lives of the LGBT+ people we know. As Christians, we have an inherent sense that what’s true should also be good and beautiful. So how do we make that a reality for the LGBT+ people we love?

Eventually, every conversation about gender ethics and God’s wisdom for trans people seems to get to the point where someone claims, “Well, it’s transition or suicide.” And often, the conversation stops. This matters, because we know 41% of trans people attempt suicide, as compared to 1.6% of the general population. Stats like that demand attention. They can’t be ignored. But should is “transition or suicide” mantra true? Has transition been scientifically proven to reduce suicide risk? Long story short: No. Available research is inconclusive about whether hormonal or surgical transition effectively reduce suicide risk.

Some Christians get mad at me when I respect people’s pronoun and name preferences. Here’s the deal, just because I honor someone’s request doesn’t mean I’m theologically affirming their decisions. It just means that I don’t want terminology to be a barrier to getting to know a trans person.