I recently shared about my ongoing sexual addiction recovery. And I’ve posted in the past about the fact that same-sex attraction does not inherently lead to sexual addiction. But it’s true that gay people struggle with sexual addiction at higher rates than some other populations. Why? The closet.

In a recent sermon at Calvary the Hill Church in Seattle I shared about the difference between temporary and vocational singleness, and why we should consider vocational singleness instead of living in limbo. Temporary singleness is the default state everyone is born into, whereas vocational singleness is a lifetime vocation of singleness for the sake of doing kingdom work with undivided attention.

I recently went on the Head to Heart Podcast with Jenny Marcum, and she opened with a question she asks many of her guests: What has Jesus freed you from? If I’m honest, hearing the question brought back painful memories. As a gay Christian committed to historic sex ethics, I’ve often been asked why God hasn’t yet freed me from my same-sex attractions.

In college and post-grad when Christian leaders shared testimonies about what they used to struggle with and celebrated God's provision, it was often implied (if not directly stated) that they no longer struggled. I remember internally asking, "At all? All of the temptation is gone? You never slip up ever? Even a little?" I never believed it. Do you? Sometimes I worry that I unintentionally send the same signals.

You may have seen this demotivational poster of St. Sebastian in the background of one of my recent videos. I read about something similar in Eve Tushnet’s book “Tenderness” and I couldn’t resist designing and printing a version for myself. The sarcasm and double meaning are deeply satisfying.

I recently posted a video sharing why I think God's wisdom for our sexualities is worth following (Proverbs 4:6-7, Matthew 7:24-25). I made a passing comment at the start of the video that I don't believe gay sex is a salvation issue. Some were surprised, so I wanted to explain.

Some Christians are theologically convinced that gay romance/sex are sins, but deep down they still feel like people need romance to be happy. Deep down, it doesn’t feel fair that celibacy often seems like the only option God offers to gay people. Some earnestly wonder whether God is asking gay people to sacrifice more than other Christians and whether that’s good.

Checkout this chapel offered at Asbury Theological Seminary exploring God's true, good, and beautiful for gay people. Many Christians are theologically convinced of historic sexual ethics, but what we believe to be true doesn’t seem to be leading to good and beautiful in the lives of the LGBT+ people we know. As Christians, we have an inherent sense that what’s true should also be good and beautiful. So how do we make that a reality for the LGBT+ people we love?

Paxton Barkdull recently had me on the Theology With Friends Podcast to talk about vocational singleness and LGBT+ topics, including how I arrived at a historic sexual ethic. It’s been a journey!

Pastors will admit to me in private that they hesitate to teach and offer practical support for biblical singleness for the sake of the kingdom, because they’re afraid it’ll lead to even less Christian marriages. I think they’re right to worry about Christian marriage trends, but I don’t think vocational singleness is the enemy.

We’re lonelier than ever. And the way we’re doing friendship isn’t solving the problem. A recent Harvard study showed that 36% of Americans experience extreme loneliness. According to the study, the Pandemic revealed that our social fabric is full of holes. People are falling through the cracks.

Pope Francis made another controversial announcement about sexuality yesterday, suggesting surrogacy should be banned. A bit confusing, at least for some, right?

Watch my lifetime commitments to NFOB and vocational singleness, check out some early reflections, and read articles along my journey to lifetime commitments.

What did God make us for as sexual beings? What best paths did God give us to enjoy sexuality to the fullest? How can we resist sexual temptation, generally?

Why discern God’s calling to vocational singleness or Christian marriage? How can we discern between vocational singleness and Christian marriage? How can pastors and parents help Christians discern well?

I went on the Good Christian Co. Podcast with Robby Ortiz and Joshua Delp to talk about faith and sexuality. At one point, they asked me how to navigate conversations where people disagree about the morality of gay marriage and gay sex. My solution: Don't talk about sexual ethics.

Jesus intended vocational singles to live "for the sake of the kingdom" by reinvesting the time and energy they would have used to raise kids to instead do even more non-child-raising kingdom work. 50% more. Let me explain.

Marriage isn't the solution to untamed lust. Some claim that "better to marry than to burn" in 1 Corinthians 7:9 means that people who find abstinence challenging are automatically called to marriage. That's a common misinterpretation that has particularly hurt mothers and children.

I went on the Goodlion Podcast to explore a variety of questions in the intersection of faith and sexuality, including the different ways broken sexuality shows up in our world. Christians may be quick to point to the broken reality of same-sex attractions, but everyone's sexuality is broken. Straight people lust after people they aren't married to. Married Christians can even lust after their own spouse.

What is the vocational singleness that Jesus and Paul invited every Christian to consider? Is it still a call to family? How does one discern whether they’re called to vocational singleness?