Vocational Singleness is a Gospel Cornerstone
Some who know Jesus experience crippling doubt. Others who don’t yet know Jesus see a Creation in chaos. Christ’s promises seem to ring hollow, the kingdom is coming too slowly, the gospel feels feeble. Thankfully a potent vehicle of kingdom work and kingdom hope for the early Church is available to God’s people today, if we will only embrace and nourish it. Amid Christ’s ministry on earth, he instituted a vocation meant to give us hope for the kingdom to come and to bring forth that kingdom with undivided attention: the vocation of singleness.
Exploring the Gift of Singleness in the Bible
Read this interview with RENEW.org exploring what Jesus and Paul taught about vocational singleness. Plus learn how our churches can better support those called to abstinent singleness for the sake of the kingdom.
The Ascetic Fetish
Christian celibacy is a tragically misunderstood concept. Depictions of kingdom singleness, from Renaissance paintings to modern television shows, often misrepresent Christ's invitation and early Church practices, tempting some ordinary Christians to ignore their calling and others to indulge in a caricature of the vocation of Jesus. These thoughts swirled through my mind as I took up an invitation to spend a holiday weekend at a friend’s house in the land of 1000 lakes…
Building Committed Christian Community
My hope for the Church is that gay celibate Christians would find real family. What kind of family are we all made for? How can vocational singles, regardless of sexual orientation, build the permanent family they need?
A Pandemic of Romance Idolatry
Tiger King. Schitt's Creek. Perhaps the most popular shows of covid-times tells us something about what we value. Perhaps it reveals that we've suffered from a pandemic of romance idolatry long before masks and vaccines.
Gay Christian Victim Mentality (on the Rick Lee James Podcast)
Help protect gay Christians from victim mentality. I went on the Voices in My Head Podcast with Rick Lee James to talk about faith and sexuality, including the barriers to gay Christian face to thriving according to God's wisdom.
HOW to discern vocational singleness & Christian marriage
In previous posts we established that Jesus and Paul are particularly commending permanent singleness in Matt 19 and 1 Cor 7. Later we explained WHY every Christian young adult should open-handedly discern between vocational singleness and Christian marriage, seeking God's preference for each of our lives. But HOW can we discern?
Reframing Our Sermons on Sexuality
What if sexuality sermons centered how God made all of us for intimacy in the context of family instead of focusing on marriage and sex? I recently had the opportunity to write for Outreach Magazine about framing conversation in terms of "sexual stewardship".
Why should all discern (+objections)
Why should every Christian young adult open-handedly discern between vocational singleness or Christian marriage? And what about reasonable objections?
5 Ways Churches can Support Singles
I went on the Broken but Beautiful Podcast with JP Conway and Drue Clark to talk about how churches can better support those called to vocational singleness. First, teach what Jesus and Paul actually had to say about a lifetime calling to celibate singleness for the sake of kingdom work with undivided attention…
The Curse & Glory of the Eunuch
Watch this seminar exploring the following questions: How were celibate, childless people marginalized in the Old Testament? What promises were made to childless celibates? How did Jesus fulfill those promises? How might that shape the ways we think about our sexualities today?
What has covid revealed about singleness in our churches?
Watch this interview with Lorinda Pretorius (a Christian Sexologist in South Africa and host of the Chasing Something Podcast) where we discuss singleness and intimacy.
Jesus & Paul Taught Lifetime Singleness
Here's 5 reasons why Jesus and Paul *were* particularly talking about permanent singleness. Plus how recognition of this would change our churches.
Church Support for Vocational Singleness
Watch this video exploring how can churches help those called to vocational singleness thrive with reasonable effort (regardless of sexual orientation).
Purity Culture grew from romance idolatry
Listen to this episode of the "Where do we go from here?" podcast where Devi Abraham. Jessica Van Der Wyngaard, and I talk about purity culture and celibacy. The problem with "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and True Love Waits wasn't traditional sexual ethics. It's that purity culture sold Christians the idol of romance.
What makes relationships safe?
Listen to this episode of the "Unsuitable with MaryB. Safrit" Podcast where we chat about finding family in vocational singleness and what makes relationships safe.
Is it really better to marry than burn with desire?
From Fathom Magazine - Today, more Christian young adults are postponing marriage or considering never marrying than ever before, and the church at large fears plummeting marriage percentages and the declining birth rates that follow. As those numbers soften, their refrain booms louder: “If abstinent singleness isn’t easy for you, don’t worry. Just get married.” Armed with 1 Corinthians 7:9, they plead with the under-thirty crowd, “PLEASE. Get married.”
Is romance an idol?
Watch this video seminar from Valentine's Day when I joined the Boston Fellows to explore how God's call to vocational singleness challenges the idol of romance in our cities and churches.
What’s the best thing straight Christians can do for gay people?
What is the most impactful thing straight Christians can do for gay people? My answer: Give God a chance to call you to vocational singleness.