Gay people aren't inherently more likely to be sex addicts

Unfortunately, many straight Christians assume that every gay person is a sex addict. When gay Christians ask pastors for help, they're automatically referred to a sex addiction support group.

Not only is this assumption offensive, but it rarely addresses a gay person's core challenge. Hooking up, looking at porn, and/or masturbating are rarely the central issue. Gay peoples' greatest needs are family in the body of Christ and healing of their wounds of the closet.

When leaders assume gay sex addiction is the primary issue, pastoral care hyper-focuses on sexual sin. The gay person's belief that God loves them rises and falls with a pastor's praises of sobriety and frownings at failure.

Are some gay people sex addicts? Sure. But that's not because they're inherently more likely to be sex addicts. The genetic vulnerabilities to sex addiction don't travel with the gay genes like some cruel 2-for-1 special.

Some gay people are sex addicts because the closet is the perfect breeding ground for pain and addiction.

Many grew up hearing that gay people were dirty and disgusting, so when they realized they experienced same-sex attractions, they ran into the proverbial closet to hide from loved ones who might hurt them.

Alone in the closet, the Enemy tortured them with fear, shame, depression, and isolation. If they got too close to friends, they might develop a crush or accidentally out themselves, so they settled for shallow friendship.

For many trapped in a lonely closet, lust and pornography seemed like the only way escape pain and connect with something. That perfect storm taught too many gay people to repeatedly medicate their pain with something sexual.

But not because gay people are inherently more likely to be sex addicts. Instead because the Church failed to offer God's love and wisdom to gay people, instead shoving them into the closet and into the arms of the Enemy where lust felt like the only way survive another day.

If you want to do something about gay sex addiction, make sure parents at your church are sharing with their kids before puberty about God's love and wisdom for gay people in age-appropriate ways.

Make sure that adolescents feel safe enough to share with parents as soon as they notice same-sex attractions, instead of hiding in the closet (and developing an addiction to numb their pain).